Our Day at the Lake
by FWP- A Dangerous Combination
Summary: What do you get when you mix a boat full of three bored authoresses, a boat full of Slayers, and a race to the marina? You get this twisted excuse for a fic.


A funny little idea I had while we were on a boat one afternoon... some of this actually did happen, except without Tams and D.S.... and obviously not the Slayers. This just in: I don't own the Slayers... *sniffle* I also don't own Tams and D.S., 'cause they wouldn't like me if I decided to own them... and I probably don't have the money to buy them, anyway. But I do own myself! Sort of... and I do own this story, too!!! I like being able to say I own stuff!!! 

Need to know boat info: 

Bow/prow- front 

Stern- back 

Starboard- right 

Port- left 

Marina- where boats dock 

Wake- the waves caused by a boat 

Shira: *sigh* So bored... What can I do? I watched all my anime DVDs again... I read all my books... I have no money to spend... My word processor won't work so I can't do ficcies... I lost my pencil, so I can't draw... I'll find out what Tams is doing... *logs on aim* 

Tamra Chandler: Hiyas! 

PeachyKeener00: *is bored* 

Tamra Chandler: Me too... 

PeachyKeener00: What can we do? 

*pop-up* 

Damasumirai: Hi, Shira-chan! 

PeachyKeener00: Hi D.S.! 

Damasumirai: Tams is on... let's go to a chat room... 

PeachyKeener00: Okay... 

*in the chat room* 

Tamra Chandler: Hey, D.S. 

Damasumirai: Hiya, Tams! 

PeachyKeener00: YAY! We're all here! Now what can we do?? 

Tamra Chandler: Uh... 

Damasumirai: Umm... dunno? 

PeachyKeener00: OOH! I KNOW!! 

Tamra Chandler: What?? 

Damasumirai: What?? 

PeachyKeener00: We'll go on a boat ride on the lake! 

Damasumirai: You have a boat? 

PeachyKeener00: Well... no... but I can borrow it from a friend! ^_^ 

Tamra Chandler: By borrow, you mean...? 

PeachyKeener00: I'LL GIVE IT BACK!!! 

Damasumirai: sounds good to me! let's all go to the lake in a half hour! 

Tamra Chandler: Okay! 

PeachyKeener00: okies! 

*at the lake* 

Shira: See? I got a boat! We have to be back before 5:00, because that's when Tim gets home from work and he'll discover his boat missing... it's noon now, so we have a few hours... 

Tams: You stole it? 

Shira: NO! I just borrowed without asking! But I will give it back! 

D.S.: Don't worry about it! Let's get on the boat!! 

*they get the boat in the water* 

Shira: Who wants to drive first? 

Tams: ME!! 

Shira: Okies! Here... 

Tams: *takes the wheel* Okay, here we go... we're going! *starts going at about 5 mph* 

D.S.: ... 

Shira: ... 

Tams: Wheee! We're speeding now!!! ^.^ 

D.S.: -.-; 

Shira: ... go faster! 

Tams: Huh? This is fast!!! 

D.S.: Let me take over!! 

Tams: Okaaaay... *sits at the bow with Shira* 

D.S.: *takes the wheel* FULL-THROTTLE!!!! *laughs manically* 

Shira: WAH!!!! SLOW DOWN!!! 

Tams: SLOW DOWN!!! 

D.S.: MWAHAHAHA!!! *still full-throttle* Oh, look, ducks!!! RUN THE DUCKS!!!! 

Shira: NO!! DON'T HIT THE DUCKIES!!! 

Tams: D.S!! 

D.S.: *misses the ducks* Awww.... 

Shira: D.S.... that orange buoy up there? It means no wake, you have to slow down to about 5 mph... D.S.? D.S., SLOW DOWN!!!! 

D.S.: *charges through the no-wake zone at full-throttle* MWAHAHAHAHA!!!! 

Tams: D.S.... did you have any sugar before you came here? 

D.S.: NO! Why do you say that? ^_^ 

Tams: Well... you're a little... out of it... 

D.S.: No, of course not! I only had one cup of coffee! ... and a few cans of Mountain Dew Code Red... and some Amp... and maybe a few dozen half-liters of Surge... and-- 

Tams: Enough! D.S, you're too sugar high to drive! 

D.S.: NO! I'M DRIVING!! 

Shira: How about I drive? 

D.S.: *looks at Shira* 

Tams: *looks at Shira* 

D.S.: *shrug* 

Tams: *shrug* 

D.S.: Sure... 

Tams: Okay... 

Shira: *takes the wheel* *slows down to a more... legal speed* Hey, know what? 

Tams and D.S.: What? 

Shira: See that place there before the point? 

Tams and D.S.: *nod nod* 

Shira: All of that place is owned by one insanely rich guy... and there's a house on there that was owned by some famous car guy as a summer home-- it's all stone and brick, no wood at all. And up here is the bell tower, where they play some pretty bell songs every hour, and then down here at the marina is a boat owned by that famous car guy... it's really big and pretty! 

D.S.: Wow... 

Tams: That's a lotta info... 

Shira: I grew up near this lake... ^_^ 

Voice: Hello, minna-san! 

Shira, Tams, and D.S.: *look* 

*on another boat are Xellos (the one who called) Gourry, Lina, Filia, Zelgadis, and Amelia* 

Shira, Tams, and D.S.: HIIII!!! 

Gourry: Hiya! 

Lina: Hey!!! 

Amelia: HELLO!!! 

Filia: Hello, there! 

Xellos: Hello, minna-san! 

Zelgadis: ... *is wearing a life jacket, water wings, a floaty ring, a snorkle, and flippers* 

D.S.: Zel-chan, what's with the gear? 

Zelgadis: Rocks sink. 

D.S.: Oh... *grin* 

Amelia: What are you guys doing out here? 

Shira: We got bored so we snatched a boat and decided to go for a cruise! 

Xellos: Oi, D.S.-san, here! *throws a green can over to their boat* 

D.S.: ALL RIGHT!!! *pops the top and downs the can* 

Shira: What is it? 

Tams: Please don't let it be... 

D.S.: *grin* SURGE!! 

Shira and Tams: NO!! 

Shira: Xellos, how could you? 

Tams: She's high enough as it is!!! 

D.S.: *grabs the wheel* RACE YOU GUYS!! 

Lina: All right!! *grabs the wheel* 

Amelia: I don't think this is a good idea... 

Xellos: Race to the marina! 

D.S.: Gotcha!! Ready, setty, go!!! 

*both boats shoot off* 

Authoress Boat: *slow* *whine* 

D.S.: What's wrong? Come on come on come on what's wrong!?!?! *beats on the dashboard* They're winning!! 

Shira: There's probably seaweed on the motor... Put the boat in reverse for a second... 

D.S.: *puts the boat in reverse, and slams the pedal* 

Authoress Boat: *shoots backwards* 

Tams: YIEEE!!!! *holds on for dear life* 

Shira: WAAAAH!!! D.S., STOP!!! 

D.S.: *hits the brakes* What? 

Slayers Boat: *reaches the marina* 

D.S.: NO WAY!! THEY WON!!! 

Shira: D.S.!! How about we stop and fish for a while??? 

D.S.: *sigh* Sure... 

Tams: Fishing? Fishing is safe... right? 

Shira: Relatively... 

Tams: *gets out the tackle box* 

Shira: *gets out the fishing poles* 

D.S.: *gets out the live bait* 

Shira: Okay, Tams, get me a hook, sinker, and bobber... 

Tams: What what and huh? 

Shira: *sigh* The curved pointy thing, the heavy metal thingy, and the bright orange ball... 

Tams: OOHH!!! *gets everything and hands it to Shira* 

Shira: When you set up a pole, the hook goes at the end-- *puts the hook at the end* --the sinker goes just after it-- *puts the sinker just after that* --and the bobber goes a ways up-- *puts the bobber a ways up* Then, the bait... 

D.S.: *holds out a box full of icky, wiggly worms* 

Shira: Uuggghh... I HATE this part... *closes her eyes and get a worm* ISH!! 

D.S.: Want me to do it??? 

Shira: No, I don't trust you with sharp objects... 

Tams: ... What are you going to do to that poor worm? 

Shira: This "poor worm" gets to be our sacrifice! *evil grin* DIE, WORM!! *impales the worm on the hook* 

D.S.: *watches interestedly* 

Tams: *gasp* YOU KILLED THE WORM!!! 

Shira: Actually, he's not dead... too bad... 

D.S.: Cooooll.... 

Shira: Then, you cast it! 

Tams: Huh? 

Shira: You throw it... 

Tams: OH!!! *takes her fishing pole and throws it in the lake* Now what?? 

Shira: ^^;; 

D.S.: ^^;; 

Tams: ^_^ ?? 

Shira: *sigh* Not the whole fishing rod, Tams... 

Tams: Oooohh... 

Shira: Like this... *casts the fishing line* 

D.S,: *nod nod* *looks at the worm box* OOooh... worms!! *picks a worm out* I'm going to name you Mr. Wiggly! Hello, Mr. Wiggly! ^_^ 

Tams: Oh... now what? 

Shira: Now... we wait... 

Tams: ... 

Shira: ^_^ 

Tams: ... 

Shira: ^_^ 

Tams: ... 

D.S.: Mr. Wiggly... 

Shira: ^_^ 

Tams: How long do we wait? 

Shira: Until the bobber gets pulled down by a fish... 

Tams: Oh... 

Shira: ^_^ 

Tams: ... 

D.S.: Mr. Wiggly... 

Shira: ^_^ 

Tams: ... 

D.S.: Mr. Wiggly... 

Shira: OH!! We got something!! *reels in the line* 

Line: *there's a fish there* 

Shira: ICK!! It's looking at me!! Get it away, get it away, get it away, I don't like fish!! 

D.S.: Mr. Wiggly... 

Tams: *gasp* THE HOOK WENT THROUGH THE FISH!! 

Shira: I know, I know, get rid of it!!! 

Tams: ...how? 

D.S.: Mr. Wiggly... 

Shira: Take the hook out and put it in the bucket! 

Tams: What bucket? 

D.S.: Mr. Wiggly... 

Shira: The bucket by your feet! 

Tams: *sees the bucket* OH! ... what am I doing? 

Shira: GET THE FISH OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!! 

D.S.: Mr. Wiggly... 

Tams: *unhooks the fish and puts it back in the lake* 

Fish: *floats* 

Tams: Look! He's sleeping! 

Shira: Why'd you put it back? 

Tams: You said to get rid of it... 

Shira: *sigh* 

D.S.: Look, Shira-chan!! It's Mr. Wiggly!!! *shoves the worm in Shira's face* 

Shira: IIIISSSHH!!!! *slaps the worm away* 

Mr. Wiggly: *lands in the lake* 

Un-dead Fish: *eats Mr. Wiggly* 

D.S.: YOU KILLED MR. WIGGLY!! 

Shira: I don't LIKE bugs!!! 

Tams: A worm isn't a bug, Shira-mun... 

Shira: It's in the same category!! 

D.S.: Poor Mr. Wiggly... WE HAVE TO GIVE HIM A FUNERAL!!! 

Shira: ^^;; 

Tams: -.-;; 

D.S.: We are here to say good-bye to Mr. Wiggly. His life was short, and most of it was spent six feet under. We knew him well, and now we say farewell. Now you two have to say something. 

Tams: Mr. Wiggly... uh... was... a... um... worm. 

Shira: Mr. Wiggly brought upon his own demise by looking at me... he was eaten by a fish. 

D.S.: A truly noble way to die... 

Slayers Boat: *comes back over* 

Gourry: What happened? You guys ran off! 

D.S.: Shira told me to put the boat in reverse, and then she told me to stop, and then you'd already won, and then what was the question again?? 

Gourry: UUhhh... 

Tams: We went fishing! ^__^ 

Filia: Oh, that's nice. Did you catch anything? 

Tams: YEAH! But Shira told me to get it away... 

Amelia: Why? 

Shira: I don't like fish! I don't look at fish, I don't touch fish, I don't eat fish... I don't like fish!! 

Lina: Then why'd you go fishing? 

Shira: *shrug* It seemed safer than D.S. driving the boat... 

Zelgadis: That's true... 

Xellos: Ara? What's that? 

Everyone: What's what? 

Xellos: *points* That! 

*The sky is very dark and gloomy and it's getting cloudy* 

Shira: It's a gale... 

Everyone: *blank stares* 

Shira: A storm... 

Everyone: OH! 

Filia: It looks like it's coming this way... 

Tams: Shira-mun... should we try to go back before the storm comes? 

Shira: But... to get back, we have to go THROUGH the storm! 

D.S.: What's wrong with being on a boat in a storm? It'd be fun!! 

Lina: You idiot!! Look at how small these boats are! They'd flip right over!!! 

Zelgadis: She's right... 

Amelia: I'm scared! *grabs Zelgadis's arm* 

Zelgadis: ... 

Gourry: Then what do we do? 

Shira: Ummm... 

Xellos: We ride it out ^_^ 

Everyone: HUH? 

Xellos: We anchor and ride out the storm ^_^ 

Filia: BAKA!! We CAN'T ride out a storm like this! We'll all DROWN!!! 

Xellos: ...? 

Lina: It looks like that's our only choice. Gourry, drop the anchor... 

Gourry: *picks up the anchor* *drops the anchor* 

Lina: *sigh* In the water, Jellyfish! 

Gourry: ?? *picks up the anchor* *drops the anchor in the water* 

Shira: Yeah... I guess... D.S., drop the anchor! In the water! 

D.S.: *picks up the anchor* *drops the anchor in the water* 

Tams: *grabs the rail* The storm's getting closer!!! 

Amelia: *grabs Zelgadis's arm tighter* I'm scared!!! 

Zelgadis: ... 

Lina: She's holding onto you because you've got so many floating thingies, you can't possibly sink. 

Zelgadis: ... 

Tams: *straps on a life jacket* Shira-mun! D.S.! You're not going to put on life jackets? Neither are you, Slayers people? 

Shira: Nah, they're too uncomfortable... 

D.S.: Who needs life jackets? I CAN FLY!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! 

Lina: I'll levitate if anything happens... 

Gourry: I'll grab Lina... 

Filia: I'll transform... 

Xellos: I'll disappear... 

Amelia: I'll hold onto Zelgadis-san... 

Zelgadis: ... *still has a life jacket, water wings, floaty ring, snorkle, and flippers* 

Tams: HERE IT COMES!!!! 

Storm: *thunder* *lightning* *choppy waters* 

Shira: WHEE!! BIG WAVES!!!! *is having fun* 

D.S.: I'M FLYING!!!!!! 

Zelgadis: ... 

Amelia: I'm SCARED!!! *holds on tighter* 

Tams: *holds on tighter* 

Lina: This isn't so bad... I've had worse... 

Gourry: Wooooaaaah... I don't feel so good... 

Filia: Gourry-san, don't get sick here!!! 

Xellos: I like storms! ^_^ 

Slayers Boat: *is bouncing and being tossed around* 

Authoress Boat: *is bouncing and being tossed around* 

Slayers Boat: *tips over* 

Authoress Boat: *tips over* 

Lina: LEVITATION!! 

Gourry: *grabs Lina* 

Tams: AAAH! *floats* 

Xellos: Ja! *disappears* 

Filia: *transforms* 

Zelgadis: *floats* 

Amelia: *grabs tighter on Zelgadis* 

D.S.: I'm FLYING!!!!!!!! *is sinking* 

Shira: YAAAAH!!! HELP!!!! *is sinking* I CAN'T SWIM!!! 

Tams: Shira-mun! *grabs Shira* 

D.S.: I'm FLYING!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA--*gurgle* *is drowning* 

Xellos: *appears* *grabs D.S.* *disappears* 

Shira: Where'd she go?? 

Zelgadis: ... *floating* 

Amelia: *holding onto Zelgadis tightly* 

Lina: *levitating* 

Gourry: *holding onto Lina tightly* 

Filia: *is a dragon, and big enough to stand on the bottom* 

Tams: *floating* 

Shira: *holding onto Tams tightly* 

Tams: You should have worn a life jacket! 

Shira: I'M SORRY!!! 

Filia: This is what you get for not wearing a life jacket! 

Shira: WAH!!! Tim's boat!! I still have to give it back to him!! What time is it? 

Tams: My watch doesn't work when it's wet... 

Lina: My watch blew up a few days ago... 

Zelgadis: My watch is on the arm Amelia is holding onto... 

Amelia: *is too scared* 

Xellos: *is not here* 

D.S.: *is not here* 

Gourry: I have a watch! Let's see... the big hand is on the... um... 10! And the little hand is somewhere between the four and the five... 

Shira: OH NO!!!! The boat has to be back in ten minutes!! Filia, can you carry it and give me a ride? 

Filia: Of course! 

Shira: *gets on Filia's back* 

Tams: *gets on Filia's back* 

Filia: *grabs the boat* 

Shira: FLY!!! 

Xellos: *appears* Hello, Fi-chan! 

Filia: NAMAGOMI!! 

Xellos: ^_^ 

Filia: *throws the boat at Xellos* 

Xellos: *winks out* 

Shira: NO!!! 

D.S.: I'm FLYING!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA! *is falling* 

Tams: D.S.!!!! 

D.S.: *falls in the water* FLYING!!!!!! Oh, MR. WIGGLY!!!!!!! *picks up her worm* 

Zelgadis: Amelia, you can levitate, you know... 

Amelia: Huh? Oh, right... levitation! *levitates* 

D.S.: FLYING!!!!!!!!!! 

Amelia: *grabs D.S.* I'll save you! 

Shira: Tim's boat!!! 

Authoress Boat: *is broken in half* 

Shira: Tim's gonna KILL ME!!!!!! 

Tim: *appears in a helicopter* I'll kill you so dead you'll wish you were never born! MWHAHAHA!!!! *starts throwing rotten eggs at Shira* 

Shira: AAAAAH! 

Tams: EEEEEWW!! 

Filia: GROSS!!! *swaps the helicopter away* 

Tim: *lands in the lake* HELP! I can't swim! 

Shira: I'm sorry I borrowed your boat!!! 

Xellos: *appears* 

Filia: XELLOS!!!!! *stands up to bash him* 

Shira: *falls off* 

Tams: *falls off* 

Shira: *lands in the lake* 

Tams: *lands in the lake* *floats* 

Shira: *sinking* 

Amelia: *holding D.S.* SHIRA-SAN!!! 

D.S.: Mr. Wiggly, look! I'm FLYING!!!!!!!! 

Tams: Shira-mun!! 

Lina: Gourry, you're heavy! 

Gourry: Sorry!! 

Zelgadis: *floating* ... 

Filia: *trying to bash Xellos* 

Xellos: *dodging Filia's bashes* 

Shira: *gurgle* *drowning* 

Tams: SHIRA!!! 

D.S.: Huh? Shira-chan? Oh, she's drowning... I'm FLYING!!!!!!!!!! 

Shira: *drowns* *dies* 

Tams and Amelia: SHIRA!!!! 

D.S.: Mr. Wiggly, you're flying!!!! 

Shira: *wakes up, gasping* *looks around* *is still at home being bored* Oh... I must have fallen asleep... What a crazy dream... *sits up* I'm still bored... I wonder what Tams is doing? *logs on* 

Tamra Chandler: HIYAS! 

PeachyKeener00: Hiii! Know what?? 

Tamra Chandler: What? 

PeachyKeener00: I had the strangest dream... 

Tamra Chandler: Really? What was it? 

PeachyKeener00: ... I don't remember ... 

Tamra Chandler: -.-;; 

PeachyKeener00: I HAVE AN IDEA!!! Let's get D.S. and go to the lake! I have a boat I can borrow! 

Tamra Chandler: Borrow... meaning you intend on giving it back? 

PeachyKeener00: Yeah, yeah, now let's GO!!!!!! 


End file.
